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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 11, 2007 18:42:06 GMT -5
((This thread is occurring outside of time and space, and it's just for me to explain where ODK is and how he will return. It will be locked when finished. I apologize if I make a lot of posts, but I'm trying to out-write the thunderstorm outside, lol!))
ODK felt a sense of falling. He could not open his eyes, if indeed he even had eyes to open. He felt quite like there wasn't even anything to see, though, or hear or touch or taste or even smell for that matter. But he could clearly think.
If I can't hear, how am I thinking to myself? What is speech if I can't talk? What is 'talk?' Quite fundamental questions, I assure you. ... Who am I addressing? Or is it 'whom?' Why does it matter? No, no, I'm getting side-tracked with this ridiculous banter to myself. There we go! I have established a "self." Good riddance, nobody!
What am I called? What was that name...? It feels like...like a lifetime ago... But what is a lifetime to me? I remember...do I remember? Can I remember? Or am I constructing everything? If that's the case, I better turn on a light before I stumble over something.
Bzzt! And there was light.
A glowing light bulb to be precise. Hanging from a thin cord that disappeared into nothing. In fact, there was noting else to see. Just a small, clear, glass 60 watt light bulb with a small "General Demon Electric" insignia on the side close to the base. There wasn't even a switch, just a bulb in a black socket hanging from a black cord.
That was weird.
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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 11, 2007 19:01:15 GMT -5
He didn't know how long he stared at the mysterious light bulb before he decided to try again.
This time, let's have a chair.
And a small, simple wooden chair appeared under the light bulb, exactly as he pictured it before its corporeal existence. It had three legs, a wide seat with a concave surface for the buttocks, and two spindles from the rear joined to a curved back. Unfortunately, he didn't imagine how the pieces were secured together, and the chair fell apart the moment it materialized.
Ooohhh... so, what? I get to play God? Is that it?
Instantly a figure appeared opposite the light bulb from him. It was female in shape, but transparent, both arms limply held to either side, palms forward, and toes pointing down.
Oh no. The mere thought of a god created one. Just acknowledging there could be God formed Him...er...Her. This could get out of hand quickly if I don't stop now. Otherwise I'll have made a crapload of them, one for every day of the yea...rr.... GOD DAMNIT!!
Exactly 365.2422 transparent figures materialized around him instantaneously. And instantaneously they all damned him.
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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 11, 2007 19:23:35 GMT -5
"Owww...my freaking head!" groaned ODK. He gently touched his head with his hand, feeling for any bumps and bruises, and found only his soft, thick hair.
"Escaped the 'Wishmaster's Hell', have you?" cackled a sinister woman's voice beside him.
"Is that what you call that garbage? Anyone with any sense could walk out of that just by wishing for a door." He stood up from the cold stone floor and glared at the shriveled old crone standing only a few feet away from him. All his memories came running back to him like an old lover, and he remembered how he got there, who he was facing, and what was really at stake. "Nice touch with the Level 4 memory wipe, though, but next time try to remember to scoop out even the basic knowledge and imprinted memories. I clearly remember seeing a demon logo on my 60 watt lightbulb."
"Damn your insults, demon keeper!" spat the woman. She raised her bony arms in her tattered red and gray robes, lifting her long, twisted oak staff above her. The clear orbs at either end of the staff shined brightly for a moment, only to be snuffed as black orbs grew from within them like crude oil. Black balls of gunk dripped slime on the floor, and while ODK frantically rummaged through his empty coat pockets, she cast her next attack. ODK toppled over backwards as the two balls slammed into his chest and exploded in a sticky tar-like substance, encasing him before he could even swallow a breath.
The black fluid had a mind of its own. It grew and spread while he was helpless to defend against it. Questions raced through his mind as the gunk penetrated every tube of his lungs, blocking them off. Why was his coat an ordinary crafted hunk of fabric? Why couldn't he counter her spell? Blackness covered his eyeballs while the slime penetrated every tiny orifice of his body, every insignificant pore, every dilated blood vessel... His brain was held captive for last while the slime feasted on his internal organs, which he usually went on quite well without. He could even function normally without a beating heart, treating it like an old friend who goes away to study abroad with only a fond farewell and the occasional letter. For the time being it seemed he was trapped in his brain like a rat in a cage. But the slime advanced, crawling up the spinal cord, chomping and gnashing with microscopic jaws. He then realized he was facing a grim reality...somehow, through the Wishmaster's Hell, he had fallen directly into her trap...he had accidentally wished himself out of his powers. He had wished himself mortal.
Darkness overcame him for the last time without a glorious bang, and he could not even whimper.
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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 11, 2007 22:04:29 GMT -5
In the vast void, ODK returned to all of his powerful senses. He knew this wasn't a trick, not some silly illusion or powerful spell. He was in the beyond, the thin line between the cracks of time and space. Many knew it only as Death. He was more familiar with it as being in the empty rooms through closed doors in mirrors, or in the invisible space inside television sets. He was returning home.
The hag poked the husk of dead tissue on the floor with her staff and narrowed her eyes.
"What foolishness is this, demon keeper?" she sneered as the oil dissolved away. She expected to see a freshly dead body, but what she received was a decimated corpse wrapped in a rotted traveler's cloak. "I had no hand in this fool's death... Where are you, Odd Kay?! ...and yet I sense no spell has been cast, for it would have been impossible... Is this her great champion and lover? A walking corpse?! HA!!" She burst into wicked laughter and strode away, leaving the dried bones and leathered skin for someone else to find, much like a cat leaves a dead mouse on your doorstep or a dried piece of poo in your shoe. Either way, really.
ODK relaxed in a pool of clear violet water. He held no true shape, only a vague outline of a human adult male. Shimmering black wings stretched out behind him, and a thin, black, forked tail lounged languidly on his knee. He perused his memories like a slightly pornographic novel; reading slowly and pausing to watch the good parts over and over again. He had many gems to add to his collection of lives now. Moridanu would be held on the highest pedestal.
"When are you going to tell us your story, Other Demon Keeper?" cooed a soft voice beside him. Three incorporeal succubi leaned in on him in the pool, and he smiled at their devilish, haunting beauty. Emerald eyes, fire-blond hair, and pale gray skin. They were his by ownership.
"I'm still piecing it together myself. I just need to relax, collect my thoughts...and rejuvenate my soul."
His favored harem girls smiled and knew exactly what he needed.
In the beyond, he was a king of his own world, a powerful monarch among rulers, a regional manager in the corporate hells, and an esteemed "trader" of souls...
((That's all for tonight, I'll write more when it strikes me.))
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Post by Moridanu on Sept 12, 2007 6:21:01 GMT -5
((That's all for tonight, I'll write more when it strikes me.)) *shivers while munching on peanut butter crackers, totally enthralled* Yes please babes... Write MUCH more! ... its just like old times!!! *bounces happily* MORE PLEASE!! ;D |
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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 13, 2007 19:21:42 GMT -5
((Back by popular demand!))
Brring, brring! "This is Terrance... Oh, heey John, how's it going?"
ODK leaned back in his leather office chair, stretching the phone cord from his office desk. His computer monitor flashed with activity as ancient runes and cryptic messages scrolled across and wrote themselves. His keyboard continued to type without his hands, and the mouse glided quietly over the darkwood desk. Polished wood bookshelves lined the walls filled with rotting tomes and dusty knick-knacks. Next to the open door, his trademark trench coat hung from the coat rack, and a pair of tennis shoes were neatly tucked underneath. A long, tall window on one wall looked over a vast volcanic lake within an enormous cavern, and twisted versions of concrete high-rises climbed the walls.
"No, I'm still catching up on all the paper work. Corporate still hasn't set up my meeting with our CEO. ... Yeah? Bill's been transfered? Good for him! ... Alrighty, well, I gotta get back to work. Yeah, good to hear from you, too! Bye!"
ODK hung up the phone and sighed at his corporate computer. A hesitant knock at the door made him look up.
"Uh, sir?" quivered the young man standing half-way in his office. Two small horns poked out from his forehead, but otherwise he would fit in perfectly in any cube, right down to the rumpled tie. "I need your help...I can't figure out whether to file this as an O-1, or an O-2 report." The words tumbled out quicker than he could stand in front of ODK's desk and hand over the paper in his hands. ODK looked over what had been half scribbled onto the 'Healing Magick and Counterspells Order Form.'
"A paladin reversed a Burn Almighty spell with Heal Forever and a Day..." ODK raised his hand and cut off the young employee.
"Is it Pure magic, or Light magic?" he asked calmly.
"Well, that's just it...I think it's both!" exhaled the demon.
"Then you need to fill out an O-9 form and attach the appropriate references. Grab a 'P-A kit' circular from the cabinet and use that to help you," replied ODK, handing back the piece of paper.
"Wow, I didn't know there were such spells that combined pure and light magic!"
"It's pretty rare to come through this office, but I know the Wilmontstryfe office handles a lot of them. Ask Carissa to help you find the circular."
"Thanks, sir!" bowed the demon, before rushing out.
ODK could hear him outside asking Carissa, ODK's personal assistant for help. Without a second thought, he returned to his computer and resumed his work, taking over for the mouse and keyboard.
Days, weeks, and months went by to ODK. Every spell he ever used, every curse he ever uttered, every demon he ever summoned, and every act of good or evil he performed had to be logged and documented. Corporate was very strict about keeping everything in line. You could do whatever you wanted, but you had to be held accountable for it.
It didn't take long, though, for rumors to spread that the great "Other" Demon Keeper had fallen in love during his stay in the mortal plane. Not long after that rumor got out, he received a visit one day.
"Sir, you have a visitor out here," clipped Carissa's voice over his phone.
"Who is it?"
"The she-demon bitch..." was whispered very quietly into the phone line, and ODK knew immediately which demon bitch it was. Only one such bitch ever raised Carissa's hackles, and it took a lot to get the 9-foot tall horned beast with the svelte voice upset.
ODK sighed. He'd wondered how long it would take for her to show up. "Send her in, please."
A pair of red high-heeled blue feet attached to a long pair of toned blue legs sauntered through the doorway, a crisp black miniskirt clinging to her swaying thighs and hips. A smart, white, short-sleeved blouse buttoned down a little too generously held back a heaving pair of blue bosoms. A thin blue neck met with a ruby-lipped grin of razor-sharp teeth above a petite pointed chin. A thin nose directed his gaze to a pair of ebony orbs, glistening with desire. A pair of long, curved horns sprouted out of her forehead above pencil-thin eyebrows, and held back short, blazing red hair.
"Well, look who's back in Hell..." she cooed with an evil undertone.
"Hello, Mary," replied ODK as flat and toneless as possible. He sat perfectly straight in his chair with his elbows on the desk. He betrayed no emotion with his dull green eyes.
"Glad to see me?" she grinned, "I've missed you. And our wild nights together." He could tell she was enjoying this.
"I've told you repeatedly, Mary, I can't see you anymore. If you insist on butting in..." but she cut him off.
"Who said anything about butting in? I'm just here to serve you notice." She produced a rolled up scroll of parchment from her cleavage and held it out to him. "I've moved up since you've been gone, Other Demon Keeper. They've promoted me to Senior Administrative Assistant."
"Congratulations," he said dryly, taking the scroll from her. Without another look, he broke the wax seal and unrolled it. While his eyes scanned the letter, Mary took it upon herself to carefully sit on his desk, cross her legs so her skirt slipped up, and lean over him so her shirt almost burst open.
His eyes met hers, and as she tried her best attempt to penetrate his mind, he only gave her a cold stare. Her red lacquered claws tapped the desk gently, and her gaze become more intent. The more she strained, the less he reacted.
"Get off my desk," he said calmly, "Now."
She responded like a robot, moving off his desk gracelessly and smoothing over her skirt. Like waking from a dream, she snapped her head up and blinked in surprise.
"Now get out of here. And never return."
His commands were obeyed precisely, but not without a snarl from her.
"You haven't seen the last of me," she growled bitterly as she left his office.
ODK looked back at the parchment. It was time to answer for his behavior.
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Post by The Demon Auditor on Sept 14, 2007 22:48:43 GMT -5
Some things in the universe are beyond understanding. Some things in the universe defy comprehension. Beyond the veils of "good" and "evil," beyond the simple concepts of "light," "dark," and "gray," stands the undefinable. To acknowledge its existence is impossible.
It knows this.
So it adapts.
ODK stood before The Great Tower. If a civil high-rise could be imposing, this one could scare your bowels empty. At its core was a very basic skyscraper, but layered on top of it were the bones and ashes of fallen warriors, murdered innocents, electrocuted rapists, slashed suicidal victims, and every other tortured soul imaginable. The jaws of many hung slack, while most still screamed in pain and terror. The few who realized their own power fell loose, and dropped to the wide concrete pavement below were they would find salvation in a nine-to-five hourly-paid desk job. The rarer few who were pressed against the windows of the offices could plead with those inside to expedite their paper-work and move on to the next life. But those were the lucky ones. The pile only grew.
Souls from every dimension, every world, every plane of existence, ended up here. It was Hell, to everyone who knew it as such. But to the rest of existence, it was simply a weigh station called The Great Tower, another step in the grand scheme of things.
Bodies fell through the cavern ceiling high above, and gravitated into the structure, cementing there with the rest. ODK shivered at the sight above him, then stepped through the narrow cave of bones into the brightly-lit lobby. The red-eyed security guard nodded to him and waved a hand to the elevators.
The tower went up and up, for floors and floors -- hundreds of floors, maybe thousands of floors -- all filled with paper-pushers trying to save the damned from themselves. Case workers of every size, shape, age, color, and race worked tirelessly to shrink the queue literally piling up outside.
ODK stepped to the elevator and pressed the down button. The overlords of The Great Tower, the three monarchs known only as CEO, CFO, and COO, were below the workers, not above. The almost cheerful elevator chimed as it opened, and several emaciated corpses stepped out, release papers in hand. He stepped in, making sure nobody followed him.
The elevator played quiet, cheerful muzak, while ODK thought to himself. The scroll was only a summons, it held no hint of whether he was to be rewarded, or punished. He knew he had broken his own rule of neutrality when he joined Moridanu. He could pin-point the exact moment. What a sucker he'd been.
It had sounded like such a simple plan; help her destroy some restless natives called Dorthekas. Help save her people, the crimson witches. Never did he think the very laws of nature would be perverted to tip the balance of good and evil in evil's favor, and he would be there to stop it. Never did he imagine the hordes of demons Lucien would unleash. He could still see the bodies of the temple servants buried in rubble, the sacred building now a sacred tomb.
When the elevator came to a stop, ODK took in a deep breath and watched the doors open. Nothing but blackness was beyond. He could even feel the elevator sway a bit. There was absolutely nothing down there; just him, and an elevator dangling on its cables.
ODK steeled himself and took one step forward into the inky blackness. The elevator doors shut, and it was gone. He could still see himself, lit by some unknown source. It was all around him, he cast no shadow and yet shadow was everywhere.
He cleared his throat. "Ahm. I've come as you've summoned me."
There was no response. He tried to walk forward, but he didn't feel any ground.
You are welcome, Terrance the other demon keeper. The booming voice vibrated his whole being, but he didn't hear a sound.
We have waited long to see you.
You have much to answer for.
We will begin the interrogation.
"Interrogation? What do you mean? I came willingly! I came to answer of my ow acc--aack!" cried ODK, his brain suddenly filling with questions and answers. Their combined voice pounded in his skull, and his head answered without delay.
The interrogation felt like torture. He felt like his head was going to split open and splatter his brains over everything. Or, rather, nothing, as the case seemed to be.
Finally, the questions stopped. He hung limply in the void while the throbbing calmed in his mind. The CO's were apparently not without their mercy.
Terrance the other demon keeper, we have made our decision. You will return to the realm you have left, and you will fight the evil in that land.
ODK looked up blearily, "what? Fight the evil?"
Yes. You have proven yourself worthy...of promotion.
"P-promotion...?" The question dangled dangerously in the void just as he did.
A surge of power streaked through his body, forcing out his limbs in all directions. Light erupted from within him, stripping away all clothing. His skin glowed, as a true corporeal form materialized atom by atom. Once whole, the light dimmed, replaced now with red shapes spiraling around him. They wrapped around his skin in tight spirals, and burned themselves into him. As each mark cooled, the patterns could be clearly seen as small writing, ancient runes of power, a language unspoken for eons, if really ever.
No longer will you steal matter to create your own form. You are granted a mortal coil. You are granted new powers. And you are granted a new sourceforge.
The marks on ODK's body cooled completely, forming stark black tattoos. A spiral wrapped around each arm and leg, starting out solid and forming to a tip. Two spirals intertwined up his torso in a double-helix, and a final spiral wound around his neck and ended on one cheek beneath his right eye.
His eyes slowly opened, a red glow briefly lighting up his pupils and cornea. As he relaxed, he was enveloped in a dark shadow, and a new trench coat coalesced around his body. It enveloped him as if made of slick oil, and only thin lines of light reflection defined its folds. As its power was sealed to him, where his body might be seen through the open front, a new universe unfolded instead, and it seemed as if all the stars of the heavens had claimed his shape as their new home, leaving only his head, hands, and feet visible.
Begin your journey to the mortal plane. We will be watching. Farewell, Executive Assistant Terrance the Demon Auditor.
As he heard their collective goodbye, he realized he was now falling. And falling... Perhaps he was falling a little too fast... Oh dear... too fast...too fast!!
WHUMP!
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